Friday, 25 May 2012

That’s life with Lupus….. Always full of nasty surprises but The Almighty knows best everything happens for a reason.

Friday 2012.05.25
Yesterday I was   discharged from hospital after being admitted for severe case of bladder infection
on Monday. My day started as normal with the usual stiffness and pain of the joint but nothing
Major to be alarmed about.  Suddenly at about 10H00am I started feeling a pain in my lower back.
Didn’t take much notice and just went on with my chores .Then the pain became worse and 
I went to the toilet to relieve myself and I discovered I couldn’t pass urine.
I then drank as much water as possible but still I couldn’t relieve myself.
The pain became so unbearable and I didn’t know if I should stand, sit or lay down.
I began to panic because I didn’t know what was causing this severe pain.
I phoned my Nephrologist and he told me to come to his rooms.
My husband took me to Gatesville Medical Centre but with the pain the ride to the hospital felt like forever. When we eventually arrived at the hospital the pain was so bad that I couldn’t even walk to the doctor’s room. My husband had to push me in a wheelchair.
I was examined and was admitted immediately with a severe case of bladder infection.
I was placed on a strong dose of antibiotics and pain killers. The nurses also inserted
a catheter so that I could relief myself. And amazingly after it was inserted and I relieved myself 
the pain slowly subsided. Several blood tests were run and the results showed that I’m having a flare.
Lupus is causing havoc in my body again. Nephrologist liaised with my Rheumatologist
And it was decided that I must go for a kidney biopsy to check whether there is any activity in kidneys. I hope and pray that it’s not the case. So I need to be back at hospital on 5 June.
Amazingly with the Koedrat of The Almighty I never had any joint or muscle pain whilst
in hospital. But then yesterday afternoon the pain started to hit me with a bang again. Fibromyalgia and Lupus competing against each other .The one is trying to give me more pain than the other.
That’s life with Lupus….. Always full of nasty surprises but The Almighty knows best everything happens for a reason.
Shukran/Thank you to everyone for all their well wishes and duahs/prayers.

Friday, 18 May 2012

Tired of being sick and tired :(

With lupus your moral can hit bottom ground from sky high in a wink of an eye.
Just Wednesday and Thursday I felt like I could take on the world.
I had two AMAZING day Agamdulilaah.
Suddenly yesterday everything hit bottom ground again.
Fibromyalgia and lupus with its pain hit me with a big bang.
The pain became so severe and my best friend depression tagged along too.
I am not questioning The Almighty for what He has bestowed upon me but  
Sometimes like yesterday and last night it all got too much for me to handle.
The pain was so bad; it felt like by body was on fire.
My fingers were so stiff I couldn’t even keep my cup of hot chocolate in my hands.
I am so tired of all this pain
I am so tired of the fatigue
I am so tired of being depressed
I am so tired of being frustrated
I am tired of smiling when I feel like crying. 
I’m tired of pretending that I have everything under control.
When I’m not even sure whether I’m coming or going.
And most of all I’m tired of always pretending to be OK when I’m not OK.
But I know I will be OK again if not today maybe tomorow or the day after.
TAWALKALTOE Allah ......Allah knows best

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

I'm on top of the world :)

If only all my tomorrows can be like my today is and my yesterday was.
Can’t remember when last I felt so good emotionally, mentally and physically.
I wish I can capture these pain free moment so that it can last forever.
These past two days I feel and felt like I’m on top of the world, I feel like I can take on
what ever life throws at me. If only I can have more of these days  my   life would  be so much pleasant and bearable.
I pray that The Almighty grant me many more days like today and yesterday.
In Shaa Allah

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Lupus awareness month

May is lupus Awareness month and today is World Lupus day.
I’m so touched to see the amount of support I’m getting from my family and friends.
The smallest gesture is so much appreciated. Just   by wearing something purple today or during this month or by posting something about lupus on their face book means so much to me and it is very
Much appreciated.
Lupus with all its negative effects did bring something positive in my life too.
I made so many friends “fellow lupies” through lupus support groups on face book.
We’re from all across the globe: from  South Africa to USA to Dubai .We might be from different
Religions, Cultures, Races and Ages but we all one” lupy” family cause we all have something in common LUPUS.
I want to thank everyone for supporting me in creating awareness.
May you all be blessed in abundance.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Superwoman and the Wolf "lupus"

Some of my family and friends have the greatest admiration for me and refer to me as a Superwoman.
But if they only knew all the emotions that I hide behind my smile.
The constant pain I’m enduring, the depression and fear, confusion and frustration and the uncertainties about the future.
For the battle that I’m fighting is not an easy one. It sometimes takes away all my fighting spirit.
But I’m trying to be strong because a strong woman won't let anything get the best of her...
Cause a woman of strength won't give in to her fears and  weaknesses. She will continue fighting.
That’s why I appeal to my Creator to grant me the  strength and courage to  keep on fighting my battle with the wolf “lupus” like a SUPERWOMAN would do!