When SALIVA and TEARS becomes a huge problem in my life.

We tend to always take the little things in life for granted. I never knew my life would be so complicated without TEARS and SALIVA.

Lately eating has become a nightmare to me, I try to stay away from food which needs a lot of chewing. But it’s not always as easy and simple. I am refraining from foods that I love EG: fish, chicken, steak  etc. Even eating certain fruit and bread is also a problem. One of the diseases I have  called Sjogrens, causes my white blood cells to dry out the glands that produces moisture in my body. And to chew and digest any food you need your saliva. It also helps protecting the teeth and gums from bacterial infection, and it spreads the taste of whatever you eating around your mouth.So is basically it enhance the ability of the taste buds to detect the taste of food.Saliva also makes it easier to talk,a fact ask anyone who experience stage fright and the associated dry mouth while giving a presentation.It is the worse feeling ever.I am now looking at substituting my solid foods with healthy shakes,so that my body still gets the necessary nutrients and supplements it requires to function on a daily basis.

Never in my wildest dream ever thought I would miss my tears as I miss it today.

In the past whenever I you watched a sad movie or read a sad book,I would cry my heart out.Sometimes when I felt emotional or depressed, I could just have a cry and then I would feel better but now it is so difficult to deal with my emotions as I literally can’t cry.I see tears as the only emotional form that is real.Tears are the only thing that anyone can understand, see, or touch.But How do I express my joy,happiness,hurt,anger if I don’t have tears.

The one thought that is always crossing my mind is that what if someone close to my die tomorrow, how I will be able to express my loss.What if I get the honour to go perform Hadj or Umrah one day? People always  talk  about how they cry the first time they see The Holy Kaabah and how they cry The day of Arafat.Will I be able to experience all that emotions too?

Allah Swt knows best,May Allah Swt make it easy for all of us.
Ameen In Shaa Allah.

Live your dream before you wake up and realise you lived but you weren't realy alive

When we are young and carefree we have dreams and set goals for ourselves.We have this idea or picture of how our lives would be like in the future.We dream about  having the perfect partner, a flourishing career,a house with a white picket fence, a fancy car and a beautifull family.But as time goes on and  we grow older we realize life is far from the perfect picture we had in mind because we are so busy trying to create our dream that we forget to live our dream.Make sure you get to live your dream before you wake up and realise you lived but you werent realy alive.

Emotionally and physically I’m not in a good space :(

So I haven’t updated my blog in ages but I promise from today on I will try my outmost best to update it on a regular basis.

Since I last up dated I was diagnosed with 2 other diseases:Sjogrens and Osteoporosis

Emotionally and physically I’m not in a good space. My osteoporosis was brought on by my long term steroid treatment for my lupus. My bones are now very brittle and I have to be careful not to fall and fracture a bone. It will be detrimental to my body and the recovery period will be very long. From all the diseases I was diagnosed with the last 11 years being diagnosed with osteoporosis hit me the hardest. Because of Sjogrens my mouth is constantly dry and my tear ducks are dried out which means I don’t produce tears and I also don’t have any taste buds

I am not questioning my Creator but I am only human and sometimes it all gets too much for me. And I asked myself how much more pain must and can I still endure, what is next on the list for me. Pain is hitting me from all over.Lupus,fibromyalgia,Sjogrens and Osteoporosis are all causing pain. I always had my on and off days but now it seems as if I have more on then off days. I go sleep with pain and wake up with pain and its really getting to me.

But what can I do…I must try to remain strong and positive even though it’s not always easy just to ignore the discomfort and pain but I always tell myself Allah Swt won’t give me anything I can’t handle and there is people that are worst off than me.

May Allah Swt may it easy for all the sick people,ease their pains and fill their hearts with sabr and contement Ameen In Shaa Allah

Sjogrens

Sjogrens  syndrome is an autoimmune disease that mainly affects the eyes and salivary glands, but can affect different parts of the body. In more serious cases of sjorgen’s syndrome, the immune system can attack other parts of the body, causing symptoms and conditions such as dry skin tiredness and fatigue – which are common and can lead to total exhaustion, muscle pain, joint pain, stiffness and swelling ,vasculitis  (inflammation of blood vessels)

Osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is a bone condition that makes bones thinner and more fragile because of reduced bone density, and it puts people at risk of fractures, especially of the hip, spinal vertebrae and wrist. are some key points about osteoporosis. Postmenopausal women are most likely to get the condition, but it also affects men and younger people. There are risk factors for osteoporosis, including avoidable causes such as smoking. There are no symptoms caused by the loss of bone density in osteoporosis. Fractures are most likely in the spine, hip and wrists. Diagnosis is made directly via a special X-ray-based scan, but sometimes ultrasound. Treatments include drugs that prevent or slow down bone loss, exercise programs, and dietary adjustments, including extra calcium and vitamin D.Taking measures to avoid falls is important in the prevention of fractures in people who have osteoporosis.