Friday, 18 May 2012

Tired of being sick and tired :(

With lupus your moral can hit bottom ground from sky high in a wink of an eye.
Just Wednesday and Thursday I felt like I could take on the world.
I had two AMAZING day Agamdulilaah.
Suddenly yesterday everything hit bottom ground again.
Fibromyalgia and lupus with its pain hit me with a big bang.
The pain became so severe and my best friend depression tagged along too.
I am not questioning The Almighty for what He has bestowed upon me but  
Sometimes like yesterday and last night it all got too much for me to handle.
The pain was so bad; it felt like by body was on fire.
My fingers were so stiff I couldn’t even keep my cup of hot chocolate in my hands.
I am so tired of all this pain
I am so tired of the fatigue
I am so tired of being depressed
I am so tired of being frustrated
I am tired of smiling when I feel like crying. 
I’m tired of pretending that I have everything under control.
When I’m not even sure whether I’m coming or going.
And most of all I’m tired of always pretending to be OK when I’m not OK.
But I know I will be OK again if not today maybe tomorow or the day after.
TAWALKALTOE Allah ......Allah knows best

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